


Drive

by AsagiStilinski



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Derek takes Stiles away, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friday Songs To Fall In Love To, M/M, Road Trip, Running Away, Song fic, Sterek Week 2015, lyrics, post season five
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-31
Updated: 2015-10-31
Packaged: 2018-04-29 02:39:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5113145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AsagiStilinski/pseuds/AsagiStilinski
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>And California never felt like home to me...</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Derek was leaving again, that alone was no surprise, what was surprising is what he asked of Stiles before he left</p><p>"You... why? Why would you want me to go with you?"</p><p>"Because you've been ruined Stiles, you've been torn to peices, I don't want to watch you go through what happened to me, because sure, it starts this way, it starts with damage that will scar over with time, with bloody battles that eventually heal but before you know it your entire life will cave in, you still have threads of your life left Stiles, I don't want to see them cut off for good,"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drive

**Author's Note:**

> My favorite guilty pleasure trope, I love the running away trope so much but I have such a hard time reasoning it with Stiles' attachment to everyone, especially his dad, I'll write it every single time I can come up with an excuse to *cough* Scroll down for the list of songs used! I wanted to use so many more, I'm such a music freak, but I could either write the fic and pick songs to go with it, or gather up a playlist and form the fic to it, and I ultimately went with the former, I never intended for all of them to have a running away/leaving theme but by the fourth one they ended up that way so I just kept it going, and that's a tiny bit sad because I had so many more I wanted to do... oh well, maybe next year... ;)
> 
> Also for some reason I have to cough-mention submissive!Derek/kinky!Sterek in everything I write apparently? I don't know why? I give up trying to stop myself
> 
> Also also, as an Aries, it tickles me that atleast in some form of cannon, Stiles is also an Aries, and I will ALWAYS love Christmas-baby!Derek

_This town ain't your's_  
And this town ain't mine  
We all come here with the light in our eyes  
Some will burn out  
Some will burn bright  
Some learn to fly, some will run for their lives  
In this town 

"What's a hellmouth?"

"It's supposedly the entrance to hell, a gaping hole in the dimensional fabric of time and space,"

Stiles licked his lips, swallowing harshly

"And that's what Beacon Hills is?"

"Um, not in this context," Derek cleared his throat, looking down

"I was referring more to the um... Buffyverse idea of a Hellmouth, a place of increased supernatural activity where the veil is thinner than usual,"

"Buffyverse," Stiles said slowly, letting out a breathy laugh and shaking his head

"Oh ... you huge nerd, that's awesome, but I kind of figured, I mean... about the increased supernatural activity thing," he explained

Derek shook his head, eyebrows narrowed and face looking pinched

"No, I don't think you understand, the rest of the world is just as high in supernatural population as Beacon Hills is- higher in some places in fact- but... the wars, the fighting, the... pure unbridled hell... that's the difference, it shouldn't be like this, but ... whatever it is, it isn't just something that's going to eventually go back to sleep, I talked to Satomi, the nemeton may have been dormant for a wile but Beacon Hills never was, my mom kept us out of all the crap going down when I was a kid but it still went down,"

"So what you're saying is that there's no escape? We're stuck? Freaking screwed right?" Stiles huffed, leaning back on the couch and dragging his hands down his face, cursing and slamming his foot into the coffee table

"That isn't what I said and it wasn't what I meant,"

The younger male paused, slowly moving his hands away from his eyes

"Continue..."

"Beacon Hills is a hellmouth... it isn't like we're cursed, we don't have to stay, it ... it won't follow us,"

He sat up a little straighter, eyes narrowed as he stared at the werewolf

"It won't follow us..." he echoed slowly

"Derek, you're a freaking werewolf, and I'm a witch- spark, whatever you want to call it, I have magic IN me, how is it not-"

"The magic will follow, the chaos won't, people live in peace Stiles, you think Laura and I were the only werewolves in New York all those years?"

"What about the hunters?"

"That happens anywhere and everywhere but think about it, do you really think those are that big of a concern after you just got rid of those.. doctor things?"

Derek had a point, a good point as a matter of fact...

"So say I believe you and we really are just stuck in purgatory, what do we do to get out?"

"Just drive away," Derek shrugged, as if it were the easiest thing in the entire world

"Just drive away, and don't ever, ever come back... not like I did, not .... like Laura did,"

"Drive away," Stiles repeated

Derek nodded slowly, wringing his hands

"I've seen it Stiles, I was there, for years with Laura and then... even when Braeden and I have spent eight months hunting the Desert Wolf, we never came across ANYTHING as horrible as this town, I... can't stay, I can't, I ... I bought a place, when the trail was cold and Braeden and I had to park it for a wile... I bought a condo in Florida,"

"And you're leaving again?" Stiles asked tightly

Because he had a point, why wouldn't he?

This wasn't his burden to carry and he should have the right to drive away and live in the sun if he wanted to

And he should, because he deserved that

He wondered for the smallest moment why Florida but he figured it was the end of trying to escape two extremes, not wanting to be near enough to California to be tempted and not wanting to go back to New York where everything about it screamed of his sister

Florida was a good choice

"I am, but... I want to ask if you would like to go with me,"

There was silence, for the longest moment, just dead air

"You... why? Why would you want me to go with you?"

"Because you've been ruined Stiles, you've been torn to peices, I don't want to watch you go through what happened to me, because sure, it starts this way, it starts with damage that will scar over with time, with bloody battles that eventually heal but before you know it your entire life will cave in, you still have threads of your life left Stiles, I don't want to see them cut off for good,"

"Yeah... ok, but why ME? Why aren't you asking Lydia or ... or Scott?"

"You think I won't? Let's be entirely honest though, Lydia is on her way out of this town anyway, do you really think Miss Ivy League Potential will settle for BHU? She may spend the summer here for nostalgia but she's out of here, mark my words, Kira... I talked to her mother yesterday, I was going to tell them about the ... about this, about what Braeden and I found out, they already found out themselves, they brought her back to finish things here with the pack but they're leaving too, her parents have some opportunities in Portland and they're going to try to convince her to go with them, there's not alot we can do about Liam, Mason and Hayden, considering they're still underage and have to depend on their parents' permission for everything... but I'll be telling them, trust me on that,"

"Malia?"

"I'm going for her next, she isn't... that attached like the rest of them, I don't know what her plans are but I'm going to try to get my cousin out of here,"

He paused, shifting uncomfortably, Derek had found out about Malia being his cousin through accident since no one ever actually told him but ever since he's been a little bit of a guardian angel for her, even if she didn't know it

She may not have ever realized where the extra cliff-notes on her notebook came from or who was leaving lunch baskets for her at school or even who was sending her little messages of encouragement over email

But Stiles knew

"And Scott?"

"Do you really think Scott would go, if I told him?"

Stiles was quiet, because once upon a time he would have screamed "YES" at the top of his lungs

Now the word "No" sunk to the bottom of his chest

"Besides, he's going to veterinary school soon, does BHU even have a good vet program?"

Stiles gave a quick shake of his head

"So..." Derek shrugged

"And so why don't you think I have plans to get out of here already too?"

"Well do you?"

Stiles flinched, face flickering frustration as he shook his head

No, he didn't have plans

He never had a plan

Even when he made "The Plan" early in the summer to keep everyone together, his only part in it had been to follow Scott and keep everyone together as best he could

He had never considered what he was going to do after highschool or during college

He never wanted to go to college to begin with- alot of money for a flimsy document that may or may not help him get a job but would certainly put him into lifelong debt and years of misery and insomnia just for a test grade

He never wanted that, but he was willing to swallow it down, get a genaric degree in business or something, whatever it took, to keep everyone together

He had a chance now to follow someone, to keep SOMEONE in his life, and to get out of this hell hole on top of it

"What about my dad? What about Melissa?"

"We'll talk to them but ... Stiles... be realistic, do you think they'd follow?"

"I have to be here to protect my dad Derek,"

"If you stayed here though, what would you do? I thought you were planning to leave anyway,"

"Yeah but not when I knew that this crap life wouldn't follow me! Not when I didn't think my dad was gonna be stuck here with all of it!" he screamed, voice breaking as his eyes started to tear up

"Stiles, Stiles- ... take a breath," Derek said gently, reaching a hand out but being carefull not to touch him

Stiles sniffed, rubbing his eyes as he sat back down

"I'm not leaving my dad..." he mumbled

"Ok, I just.... ok, I just wanted to tell you what I know,"

He swallowed, nodding slowly and staying quiet

"I'm leaving Friday, just so... so you know," he said as he stood up

Stiles was quiet for a moment as Derek turned to walk out of the living room

"If my dad wasn't here.... I'd go," he said slowly

Derek turned around, staring at him as Stiles' features hardened

"If my dad was somewhere safe, I'd go," he repeated, a little louder this time, a little more sternly

Derek took a breath and nodded as well, looking down after a long moment of eye contact

"Ok," was all he said

_All we do is drive_  
All we do is think about the feelings that we hide  
All we do is sit in silence waiting for a sign  
Sick and full of pride, all we do is drive  
And California never felt like home to me  
And California never felt like home... 

His dad had a call two days later from a sheriff's department in a small town not far from Orlando

He had initially started to reject it before Stiles reminded him that he wouldn't be in Beacon Hills anymore after the summer anyway

He hesitated just long enough for Stiles to tell him about his conversation with Derek and that this "must be in the cards" due to the incredible coincidence

He was sure that the sheriff suspected something but he had no way of making a connection so he didn't bother to bring it up

Stiles was leaving Friday with Derek, his father was leaving in five weeks once all of his affairs were settled

It was good enough

Melissa was surprisingly on board with the idea of leaving this town but Scott was hesitant, even though he admitted that he would be going away come the next semester

They were talking it out but Stiles didn't stay to hear the conversation

Just because he and Scott were no longer enemies it didn't mean that things were like they were before

Stiles had tried to mend that fence a few weeks ago but Scott's reception to it had barley bordered on positive and now they were stuck at an uncomfortable impass

Scott didn't want to forgive him and Stiles wasn't ready to beg for it

His heart broke over and over again and atleast Derek was kind enough to give him privacy when they got back to Stiles' house and he excused himself to the kitchen for a wile

Malia was on board with it- immediately

She said something about needing to work some things out at home, figure out some things about her future, but asked with a timid, hopefull smile, if they would come back for her in three weeks

Derek said yes before Stiles had the chance and even though they weren't a couple anymore it made Stiles feel ten times better to no that Malia was going to be with them in this unfamiliar territory

"Yes," his mind shouted, "One more person, one more connection saved, one more thing that isn't changing, one more part of your pack"

Once, many months ago, Stiles told Derek how he tended to veiw his relationships like a pack even before the werewolf stuff happened

That he was so much more ready and keen on the structure than Scott had ever been

Derek sounded happy when he told him, said something about some humans having that trait and that it didn't really mean anything other than how they veiwed relationships

Scott hadn't been the only one to lose his pack

Stiles talked to Lydia about it too and she confirmed that she had applied for several Ivy Leagues

She said she wasn't sure wich one she had gotten into yet and said nothing about possibly going with him

But she encouraged him to leave all the same and any mending that Malia's confirmation had done for him shattered ten times over with Lydia's unspoken "I'm not coming with you"

The days leading up to the trip Stiles spent in a blur, half of the time spent packing, planning, printing things, and researching

The other half he spent sleepless, listless, barely able to eat and feeling like he was in a constant state of trying not to burst into tears

It was finally happening, this inevitable change that had been weighing on him since highschool started in the first place

And it was a hundred times worse than he ever imagined

It made him sick to his stomach and he ate antacids like candy

The night before they planned to leave, Derek called him

And his caller ID insighted a spiral of panic for Stiles because oh _God_.... what if he wasn't invited anymore? What if this wasn't changing anymore?

The thought that he was going to be stuck in the same was somehow even more terrifying than the thought of everything changing and he answered with fingers that shook so badly Derek could hear it on the other end

_"Things change,"_

Oh... God....

_"Just because someone isn't coming tommorrow, it doesn't mean they aren't coming at all,"_

Derek was a mind-reader, Stiles was convinced

_"Just because they aren't coming with us, it doesn't mean you'll never see them again,"_

Stiles took a shaking breath

_"You know, Liam will be getting out of highschool next year, they're strong kids Stiles, they can make it another year,"_

Freaking mind-reader

**"Are you sure?"**

His fingers shook so badly

_"I'm positive, you know they'll follow you right?"_

He choked on his own breath

**"Why would they?"**

He had to put the phone down and read it from the desk

_"Why wouldn't they?"_

There were so many things packed into that one sentence

So many things that neither of them could bare to say but both of them thought religiously

So many things that he was trying to comfort Stiles with

It hurt

It hurt so much that it almost felt good

_*Incoming text from Kira Yukimura:_  
Remember how I talked about working at Disney?  
Disneyworld has some internships open  
I applied to a couple of art and design schools in Florida so I could apply 

Stiles cried happy tears

And when they packed up the car the next morning, he didn't have enough energy left to cry again

_Oh, my God, I feel it in the air_  
Telephone wires above are sizzling like a snare  
Honey, I'm on fire, I feel it everywhere  
Nothing scares me anymore 

_I'm feeling electric tonight_  
Cruising down the coast going about 99  
Got my bad baby by my heavenly side  
I know if I go, I'll die happy tonight 

"Did you sleep at all?"

Stiles glanced up, inhaling deeply and shaking his head

"You should rest, we have a long trip,"

"I still can't believe we're freaking... road tripping it there," he mumbled back

"I can't believe you thought we were going to fly, you have alot to move, airfare sucks... and do you really think you'd get through security without having a stroke?"

There was a teasing smile on Derek's face that made Stiles' lips turn just so slightly upwards and he chuckled dryly

"No, you're right, I'd clock somebody,"

"I clocked somebody when Laura and I flew to New York,"

This made Stiles sit up a little straighter, mouth opening and eyes wide behind his sunglasses

"Woah... are you serious?" he laughed

"Um, yes, yes, I am... I was not in the best place emotionally, I set off metal detectors when I went through with my watch on... the TSA agent got a little too handsy and... right on the face,"

"Oh my God... did they put you on the no-fly list? Is that why we're driving? Oh my God," Stiles snickered

"I'm not on the no-fly list," he said with an eye roll

"Laura got me out of it by the skin of her teeth by telling the woman what had just happened and... thankfully she was sympathetic enough that it was our little secret, well... secret to us and a few hundred other people,"

Stiles snickered again, leaning against the car door

"Wow,"

"Don't 'wow' me," Derek snorted

"But it's totally wow worthy man," Stiles argued shivering a little and sighing as he tried to relax

The "Now Leaving Beacon Hills" sign just passed them

"Do you want a blanket? I have a few in the backseat,"

"I'm good but thanks," he mumbled

"When did you start thanking me?"

"When did you start offering me your car blankets?"

"They aren't car blankets Stiles, these are from the loft,"

Stiles twitched, uprighting himself a bit

"Mm... what's gonna happen to the loft anyway?"

"I sold it to some cooperate investors for three times what I paid for it,"

Stiles glared with the force of a thousand suns

"HOW are you business savvy?"

"I'm not, Laura was,"

Silence fell over them for a beat

"So what about the people living there?"

"There were only three residents since the building had some... issues after I left,"

"Werewolf issues?"

"What? You didn't notice how the place had been flooded? Water damage leaks.... anyway it was never fully occupied or anything, the residents still there are happy enough to leave when I gave them twice their rent,"

"And generous too," Stiles snorted

"I'm just trying to be fair,"

"Well speaking of your fairness, how big is this condo of your's? I'm not paying rent to sleep on your couch,"

"You aren't paying rent at all and it's a three-bedroom, I have the queen-sized so you can have the king or the twin, whatever you want, though the king-size is a lock-out room, I don't know if you want that much privacy or-"

"I'll.... no," he mumbled

"I'll work something out with you about it later, I'm sure it's nice, I AM paying rent, and why didn't you take the king? Why do you even have three bedrooms?"

"Because that's how condos in that building WORK and I had a good deal on THAT building... besides Braeden was staying with me for a wile,"

"And what? You two weren-"

"We weren't a couple then, no, that didn't last long,"

"Oh,"

"You aren't paying rent, and I didn't want the lock out room,"

Stiles decided to leave the room thing alone, he wouldn't want the lock-out either so he wasn't about to press Derek any further about it

"I am so paying rent,"

"You aren't, I'm not arguing about this Stiles, I'm not taking money from you, at the VERY least you'll wait until you're working and actually bringing in money but I'm not going to take your savings,"

Stiles opened his mouth to speak but Derek shushed him before he could

"Please," he sighed

Stiles shut his mouth

"I just.... please, ok? Let me do this,"

He sat back, fidgeting a little more

He didn't know what the hell....

"Malia will probably like the lockout room," Stiles mumbled

Derek just nodded quietly, and they drove a little longer in peace

_We know most people they get tiresome we gotta find a way to get around them_  
The open road it ain't my home but when you're close everyone else looks lonesome  
Let's hitch a ride to somewhere stark where the law won't recognize your face  
I'll hold you close, we'll find new names and then forget why we are running 

"We should figure out a plan,"

Derek glanced up from his coffee, eyebrows raised and adjusting his sunglasses

They were parked off side of the road in the desert sharing what Stiles called "breakfast"

Derek had news for him, coffee and donuts was only breakfast for cops

Although....

"What do you mean? We go to Florida, that's the plan,"

Stiles let out a sarcastic sigh

"Yeah, ok, that's... wow, this explains so much, you're terrible at plans, dude... we got drive all day and night, we have to pull off and sleep and you know... like... bathe sometimes? This is not a two-day trip, what are we even going to DO in Florida?"

"We hit motels on the way there, the decent ones, it's fine, I remember where Laura took me when we went to New York,"

"So you had to drive after all?"

He shrugged

"We'll drive most of the way the same route, by the time we head south we'll only have to pull into a motel another two... MAYBE three times, then we'll be back home,"

Home

It was a foreign concept now

"Ok big guy, what do we do in Florida? Spend all day at Disneyworld?"

Derek snorted, rolling his eyes

"I don't know what you're going to do but I'm going to breathe, I'm going to keep working with Braeden and whoever else needs my assistance... I... we'll be fine Stiles,"

That was probably code for "Don't worry about the money, I have plenty"

Stiles felt something gnaw at his stomach and he squashed the last quarter of his donut into his mouth at once before reaching for another one

"You know that I don't expect anything of you .... right?" Derek asked quietly

Stiles didn't swallow

"I don't .... Stiles, just breathe, just.... live ok? That's all I .... I am not asking anything of you, _at all_ , your life is enough, don't... don't jump to conclusions that I'm going to have the same agenda as someone else,"

As everyone else

He swallows and takes a long drink of Derek's coffee because he needs something strong and he has hot chocolate and that's just not going to do it

He needs something bitter to clear his throat

"Thanks for your backwash," Derek sighed jokingly, making a point of taking the cup from Stiles and drinking down a long swig

"Thanks for your cooties," Stiles teased back, waving his donut in Derek's face- the cooties comment a preemptive

Smirking, the werewolf leaned down and bit into it, making eye contact behind his sunglasses the entire time

And Stiles gave a light laugh, the first one in an hour

_He said let's get out of this town_  
Drive out of the city  
Away from the crowds  
I thought heaven can't help me now  
Nothing lasts forever  
But this is gonna take me down 

"Do you think we can star gaze?"

Derek glanced up from the road

Stiles was curled up in the seat with a blanket covering him as he stared at Derek, head pressed against a folded shirt against the window

"Star gaze?"

"Yeah, I always thought... if I go on a long road trip, I want to star gaze,"

"Ok, we can star gaze," Derek promised

"Oh yeah? You gonna show me some constellations big guy?" he smirked

"You mean besides the ones on your face?" Derek teased

Stiles snorted, leaning over and nudging his arm with his foot

"Hey, don't nock my driving arm, it'd be a shame to be out of Beacon Hills and die in the middle of no where because you made me wreck the car,"

"Wreck the car into what exactly? Open air? Because if that's the case, babe, you've got talent," Stiles snorted

"Did you just call me babe?" Derek asked

The light expression disappeared from Stiles' face and he felt everything around him sink as he swallowed, licking his dry lips

"I like it," he said suddenly, making Stiles' heart skip a beat

And Derek probably heard as much....

"I like it alot better than 'dude'," he smirked

Stiles fidgeted, sitting up straight in the seat but not losing the blanket

"Yeah? What else ya' like? Sweetheart? Darling? Oh oh, baby-booty?"

"Everything but that last one," Derek grumbled

Stiles paused, losing the blanket and leaning over as he tilted his sunglasses down

He wasn't kidding

"Holy crap you're serious..."

"I'd like to know where this idea comes from that I can't enjoy nice things," Derek huffed, evidently offended

"Because you literally never do?"

"Things change,"

Stiles swallowed, because yeah.... they do

"God, so.... you like petnames,"

"As much as you like them, don't act like 'dude' isn't a petname for you,"

Stiles laughed nervously because yeah.... it pretty much was

"But like, you like the sappy gross stuff,"

"It isn't gross," he grumbled

"But you like it! Like... how? I'm pretty sure if anyone ever called you Sweetie you would strangle them!"

He watched as Derek's hands tightened on the steering weel and his mouth clamped shut

"Yeah, you're right," he grumbled tightly

Stiles felt terrible all of a sudden

Derek was actually telling the truth here and Stiles had all but laughed in his face

Hesitantly, he reached out and placed a hand on Derek's, feeling him relax under his touch just slightly

"Hey... boo, I'm sorry," he said quietly

Derek miraculously relaxed entirely and Stiles saved all of this data for later because wow, that was definitely something he could use in the future

"Don't worry about it, nobody ever expects it," he mumbled

And a little bit of Stiles ached because he sounded so lonely....

He wondered how and why and all of those classic questions that come with unexpected events but he didn't ask, he just squeezed

"Well that's gonna change Sweetheart 'cause I'm abusing the hell out of my newfound power,"

Derek laughed

Not snorted, not chartled

He threw his head back and laughed and he looked so much lighter all of a sudden

"You're really something else,"

"Oh but you love it don't ya' babe?"

Derek just kept smiling, and with all seriousness, he looked over and shrugged

"Yeah, kind of,"

Stiles felt everything freeze, his breath caught in his throat, was that...? Had Derek....?

But Derek was just back to driving like absolutely nothing had happened

He swallowed, because Derek had been honest earlier

He didn't ask anything of Stiles at all

_'Cause if I wanted to go I would have gone by now_  
But I really need you near me to  
Keep my mind off the edge  
If I wanted to leave I would have left by now  
But you're the only one that knows me  
Better than I know myself 

"I can't BELIEVE you have Adam Lambert CDs!"

Stiles was laughing so hard his ribs were aching

"Do NOT make fun of Adam Lambert, he's some sort of celestial soul," Derek huffed

Stiles just laughed harder, gripping the handle of the door roughly

"Oh my God.. no... dude... no that's... that's not why I'm laughing... I mean I have ALL of his stuff," he laughed

"So what's so funny?" Derek asked in confusion, turning the music down

"Because YOU like it! I mean... Derek... man... like do you know how much of his music is about sex? Like he has a BDSM song kinda sorta,"

"Because I'm a virgin and a stranger to BDSM," Derek said flatly

Stiles choked on his soda

"Oh my God... oh my GOD what are you into!?" he gasped

"I'm not answering that,"

Stiles huffed, flailing desperately and nearly coming out of his seat

"What happened to this new road of communication we seem to have opened up here!?"

"You started laughing,"

"Oh so if I hadn't laughed at your amazing music taste you would give me your kink list?" he snorted

"Not even a little bit,"

"SEE!?"

"I'd have to print that out and I don't have a printer in my car Stiles,"

Stiles came ridiculously close to dropping his coke

"Holy... how much of what you're saying is serious?" he asked in an accusation

Derek just shrugged and Stiles narrowed his eyes, making a mental note to do as much of a sweep of Derek's condo and internet search history as he could because here he was thinking Derek was a prude and about as vanilla as you could get....

He may just have had his mind blown here

"God... dude- babe- dude-babe.... when did you become awesome?"

"I've always been awesome, you've just been immature," Derek smirked

"Wow, I feel like you took specialty courses in sass before we took this trip,"

"Ofcourse, I had to compete with the master for ... unlimited hours..."

"Unlim- ... do you even have a CLUE about how long this trip is going to be?"

"Not even vaguely,"

Stiles just laughed again, shaking his head and groaning in humor

"Oh my dear God.... turn up the radio you idiot, I hope you don't have any plans for Christmas, we're gonna be out here for a wile,"

_And I'm learning, so I'm leaving_  
And even though I'm grieving  
I'm trying to find the meaning  
Let loss reveal it 

Lunch was at a diner that looked almost identical to Stiles' favorite in Beacon Hills and it brought back memories that he didn't want to relive

"Do you think things will ever be normal again?"

Derek looked up, rubbing his eyes as he tried to get used to the fluorescent light

"I mean... everything has been so... off for like... like a year now... longer, crap like.. like two years? I... I don't..."

"No," Derek said quietly, making Stiles button his mouth and tighten his jaw

"Nothing is ever going to be the 'normal' you're thinking of again, it doesn't mater what turn your life takes, college or moving away or getting a dog or a job or a car or a werewolf... it's always, always going to change, and you can't ever think about things as 'normal', you always have to realize that what's happening, once something changes, that's 'normal', it's a fluid thing, it's a subjective thing, things are normal now, they'll change again when we get to Florida and again when Malia and your dad come down and again some time after that, and every single time, it's going to be 'normal', it'll have to be, or you'll drive yourself crazy searching for something that won't ever exist again,"

Stiles rubbed his nose, sniffing slightly, because it sounded like Derek had lived that before

It was good advice, but it wasn't what Stiles wanted to hear

"Do you think I'll ever see Lydia again?" he mumbled

"Ofcourse you will, Miami has a pretty great biology program I've heard, maybe someday she'll ditch the pretentious places and come down to go into neurosurgery or something,"

Stiles snorted, chewing on the straw of his sprite

"Neurosurgery is way below Lydia's pay grade,"

"Probably," Derek agreed with a small smile

"But there's a chance... isn't there?" Stiles mumbled quietly

"There's always a chance Stiles, and you two are so close... I can't imagine her just ... not being in your life anymore,"

Stiles swallowed

That....

That was something anyway, he supposed

Licking his lips again, he leaned back and inhaled

"What about Scott?"

The length of the silence was killing him, every second that passed hurt just a little more than the last

"Are you asking if you'll ever see Scott again... or..-"

"Will he ever forgive me?"

"There isn't much to forgive,"

He scratched his face, pushing slightly on the table and biting his lip

"Yeah well... that's... that's.... "

"Not an answer?"

He shook his head quickly

No, it really wasn't

"Stiles," Derek said gently, reaching across the table and taking his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze

"I think that someday, maybe not today or tommorrow, but... some day.... Scott is going to want to be in your life again and he'll do what he needs to do to get there, that's one thing about Scott, he's determined and he gets what he wants,"

Stiles looked down, the words weren't comforting

They didn't help

They only made him feel sicker because what if that time that Derek is promising isn't for another ten years?

What if Scott dies before he forgives Stiles?

And then he just feels worse and wants to close in on himself but he can't.... he can't....

Derek squeezed his hand and Stiles let go of a breath he hadn't realized he had been holding

They didn't say anything else

But somehow that felt just a little bit better

_When I run through the deep dark forest long_  
After this begun  
Where the sun would set  
The trees were dead  
And the rivers were none  
And I hope for a trace  
To lead me back home from this place  
But there was no sound there was only me, and my disgrace 

"Did you like it in New York?"

Honestly, Stiles hadn't meant to hurt Derek with his question, but Stiles was hurting and sometimes he did stupid things when he was hurting

"It was alright, I hated the weather," Derek shrugged

Stiles nodded slowly, looking out the window as they drove

"There was never a place to run, wich... I guess maybe Florida will be like that too, crowded you know? Maybe though... maybe there will be a place,"

"You don't know?"

"I haven't actually stayed there that much yet, not enough time to explore,"

"So why buy a condo there?"

Derek just grunted some sort of reply but it didn't seem to mean anything

"I liked New York though, even if the weather sucked and there were too many people,"

"Then why'd you like it?"

"Because Laura made it worth liking,"

Oh....

"Oh," Stiles mumbled

"You learn after a wile that you love or hate a place based on the people there, even if it's someplace you'd never, ever want to go like... Utah or something, if you have someone there who you really love, who tries to make it worth it to you, you'll grow to love it, and even if you're living in the place of your dreams like Hawaii or something... if the only attention you get there is negative you grow to hate it pretty quickly,"

Stiles hummed his response, nodding slowly

"Utah though? Really?"

"I had a cousin that lived in Utah, she said it was hell on earth," Derek laughed

"I've heard that but still really?"

"You don't understand, she lived there for a few years and ever since my family used Utah as our depiction of a hellish place,"

"Very nice, I'm sure some native Utahians are appreciating this," he snorted

"I think they probably agree with me," Derek teased back

Stiles let out a slight laugh and with that they seemed to be on again

Back to the gentle ease that they had managed to somehow settle into in the first place

Back into softness

Back into something other than frustration and self-loathing and hatred

And Stiles wasn't entirely sure what that was, but he liked it

"What did you do in New York anyway?"

"What you mean like job wise? I worked in a bookstore for a few years and when it closed I tended bar,"

"YOU were a bar tender?" Stiles asked in surprise

"Yeah, I could drink with my customers and never feel a thing, it was great business,"

"Huh... never thought of that..."

"It's alright, I mean... it was ok, it was nothing special, I prefer quieter things,"

"Like the bookstore?"

"Like the bookstore,"

Stiles was quiet for a little wile, thinking over that as Derek spoke again

"Laura wanted to get a bookstore, she proposed once that we should open a used one,"

"Really?"

"Yeah, we.... were looking into it, actually,"

The "when she left" part was omitted but Stiles could hear it in the tone

He just nodded solemnly, pulling up the post-it notes on his phone and making a note to research used bookstores

_'Cause it's too cold_  
For you here and now  
So let me hold both your hands in the holes of my sweater 

"God it's getting cold, it's only October, should it even be this cold?" Stiles shuddered

Derek frowned, glancing out his window as he drove and humming to himself

"It's starting to get dark, maybe we should pull over at the next stop,"

"Yeah we... we've driven alot already," Stiles sighed back

"Agreed, so we'll pull over for the night at the next stop then,"

"Right, make sure they have a restaurant 'cause I'm wanting some five- star dining from Your Royal Rich-Pants," he said with a wink

Derek snorted, laughing slightly and pulling up to a red light

"Sure, I'll keep that in mind, maybe Chef Ramsey has a place around here, you know, in the middle of absolute desert,"

"Oh my God please tell me you watch Hell's Kitchen,"

"How could I miss it?" Derek smirked, bending over his seat and fishing around for something in one of the bags

Stiles felt his mouth fall open and he sucked in a breath

"Holy... wow..." he mumbled, covering his mouth with his hand because Derek.... really had some assets going on....

"Here," he said, producing a pair of black motorcycle gloves

"Huh?"

"You're cold right? Pull the blanket up and put these on, most of your body heat goes through your hands and feet so..." he shrugged, handing him the gloves

They were nice, expensive probably

"God... what the hell even are these for? They're so nice..."

"Kinky sex," he said immediately

Stiles' mouth fell open, squinting and biting his lip as he stared at him

"I can never tell if you're serious or not anymore," he muttered

"I guess you'll find out at some point," he shrugged

"God have you always been this dirty minded?" Stiles snorted as he slipped the gloves on

Atleast they were warm- extremely warm even

"Only since you turned eighteen and I no longer feel like I'm talking to a child about it,"

"Right, because that was the only thing holding you back before,"

"Alot of things were holding me back before,"

Stiles didn't question that further, he didn't want to push that button any further than he already had

"So.. we're going star-gazing though right? When we get checked into wherever?"

"Yeah, but early, ok? I don't want to be outside wen it's much colder than it is now,"

"I can settle with that," Stiles shrugged back

Derek gave a small smile and kept driving

And Stiles reveled in the warmth of the gloves

_If I lay here_  
If I just lay here  
Would you lie with me and just forget the world? 

"So do you recognize constellations?"

Derek shook his head, hands shoved in the pockets of his jacket- well, more like a hoodie actually, with how comfy it looked- and leaned back on the hood of his car

"No, I was never good with astrology,"

"I think you mean astronomy," Stiles snickered

"That too,"

"Ohh but you know astrology?"

"I just said I'm not good at astrology," he grumbled, rolling his eyes

"Ok ok well... I'm an Aries, what are you?" Stiles asked as he leaned over on his side to stare at the other man

"Capricorn,"

Stiles clicked his tongue, sighing almost longingly

"Not compatible,"

"Really?"

"Nope, but then again Aries aren't compatible with anyone because we're like ... the hellions of the astrology world? Nobody likes us because of our tempers," he said with a dry laugh

"I bet Capricorns suck too, we probably brood all the time," Derek shrugged

"Yeah, you do, but everybody loves Capricorns 'cause you guys are sweeties, underneath all of the financial saving and the mind-numbing workaholism and occasional brooding.... you guys are awesome, everybody loves a Cap, not as much as Cancer though, everybody loves Cancers,"

"Mm, I can see that,"

"Did you know Caps and Cancers are most compatible?"

"I didn't but I don't think that's entirely accurate,"

"You don't?"

He shook his head, staring wordlessly up at the sky

"What? You have personal experience?"

"Maybe," he mumbled back

Stiles licked his lips, leaning back as well and inhaling deeply

"Yeah," he mumbled, he wasn't even sure what sign Malia was...

Although he knew that Lydia was a Pisces and Pisces and Aries were one of the least compatible matches ever, they were polar opposites

That never made him lose hope in trying though

"I bet you're more compatible thank people let you think," Derek mused quietly

"Really?" Stiles asked quietly

Derek nodded slowly, taking his hand and giving it a small squeeze

"Yeah," he agreed

There was a moment of silence, neither of them talking, both of them staring up at the stars

It was a moment of pace, a moment of .... magic almost

As if on cue Stiles sat up a little bit, flicking his wrist as a flower grew out of the ground below them

Ok, so there were SOME perks to being a spark and recreational magic was definitely one of them

"Here," he smiled, plucking the flower and putting it behind Derek's ear

"What's that for?" he asked in confusion

"Um... everything? Yeah just... everything," he said softly

"You don't have to thank me for any of it," Derek promised

Stiles stared at him, uncertainty rushing through his eyes as Derek took his arm and smiled gently at him

And within a moment, Stiles threw his inhibitions out of the closet

He didn't get chances to star-gaze with Derek Hale every day

He probably would never ever get it again

So, without another moment to go, he leaned forward, cupping Derek's face and leaned in closer

He waited

He was giving Derek a choice here

Offering his heart up without asking Derek to offer his

And Derek didn't wait, he didn't want for a second, instead he leaned over, kissing him softly and taking a deep breath

He was getting a choice and he was choosing Stiles

He leaned closer, pressing his lips gently against the spark's

Both of them shuddered

It wasn't a passion-filled, love drunk kind of kiss

It was nothing sloppy or messy or envious

It was just a kiss

A kiss that they had both wanted for so long

For too long

A kiss that expressed more than words ever could

That stopped time, stopped hearts, stopped breath....

A kiss under the stars like in a sutpid romance movie

But it didn't seem so stupid to them

"So..." Stiles said slowly

Derek just shook his head slowly, wrapping his arms around Stiles' shoulders

"You don't have to..." he began quietly

"Don't have to what?" Stiles asked sternly, lifting Derek's head up and glaring at him with a deep frown

"I don't have to WHAT Derek?"

"Stay," he said quietly, almost quiet enough that Stiles didn't hear him

The spark took a deep breath, frowning deeper

"I'm staying, sorry big guy, you've just bought the farm, I'm here, you're stuck with me now," he insisted

"But... if they're not-"

"They're good, they're fine, I PROMISE ok? Just... Derek, let's..." he sighed, taking the werewolf's hand and giving it a tight squeeze

"I'm not going ANYWHERE, I promise you that," he swore, leaning closer

"I'm staying," he added a moment later

Derek nodded slowly, closing his eyes and taking a breath, deciding to wait this time and let himself be kissed rather than the other way around

Stiles smiled, leaning closer and pressing his lips gently against Derek's

And they stayed on the hood of the car for an obscene amount of time

Just like that, nothing and everything sitting between them

No more, no less

Just two people star-gazing and enjoying eachother's company

Starting a new journey

Finding a new home

And doing it together, fingers intertwined, hands locked, lips consuming eachother

Together

_Falling slowly, eyes that know me_  
And I can't go back  
Moods that take me and erase me  
And I'm painted black  
You have suffered enough  
And warred with yourself  
It's time that you won 

_Falling slowly..._

**Author's Note:**

> Song list in order of appearance:
> 
> -This Town by Clare Bowen and Chip Eston  
> -Drive by Halsey  
> -Summertime Sadness by Lana Del Ray  
> -Bandits by Meg & Dia  
> -Wildest Dreams by Taylor Swift  
> -Better Than I Know Myself by Adam Lambert  
> -St. Jude by Florence + The Machine  
> -Wolf by First Aid Kit  
> -Sweater Weather by The Neighborhood  
> -Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol  
> -Falling Slowly by Damien McGinty


End file.
